Enjoying Today

I am a worrier.  I know it's not God's best for me to worry, and that it's futile because it's nearly always about things I can't control, but I'm still a chronic worrier.  I worry about propane leaks, plumbing leaks, water leaks (Yes, we've had all of those this fall!).  I worry about mortgage issues, siding that needs to be replaced but costs as much as putting in a pool, college savings.  Does Grayson need glasses, and will he ever stop walking on his toes?  Hives that won't go away, teeth that are going to need serious orthodontic work.  If it can be worried about, I cover it!

I've also realized, in my long career as a worrier, that as soon as the issues I'm stressed about are resolved--generally positively--that another group crops up in their place.  When the hot water heater is replaced (twice) one week, and the kids' window seats are rebuilt, the next week water stains appear in the ceiling--underneath the 3 year old roof.   The goat doesn't appear to have pneumonia after all (after I forced myself to stick her with a needleful of antiobiotics, of course), but the dog does seem to have stomach cancer.  Except, $500 later, he doesn't.  He just has diarrhea, all over the expensive rugs.

There is always something to worry about, and I can be consumed with the gnawing worry that eats at my joy and peace.  

Except when I refuse to indulge.  There is always something to be worried over, unless I push that little niggling tidbit out of my head, decide to think about it another day, and go outside instead.  Play badminton with kids who are young enough to think I'm really good at it.  Bake brownies for the childcare workers at church, and lick the batter.  Take a walk and crunch all the fall leaves under our feet on the bridle path.  Do another math lesson and cheer on my non-mathematical child who works so hard to get it, and he does!  Fold clean laundry and smell freshly-washed towels.  Sip a chai tea latte and not worry about the calories.  Turn the music on really loud and sing to the dog.

I am seeing the futility of worrying, and that it's an ugly friend who never satisifes.  God says in Psalm 37 that instead of worrying, I'm supposed to "feed on His faithfulness."  He steps in and gives me His faithful goodness, His grace, His peace, His joy when life circumstances are worrisome.  Even when the curveball I'm thrown is heavier and weightier than a dying hot water heater or water stain, when it's a scary diagnosis or crushing disappointment.  He is better than life, and that means He's better than anything in my life.

Today, instead of worrying about water stains and propane smells (The propane detector says everything's fine.) and infections and crumbling siding, I'm going to make nachos and decorated cookies for tonight's game (Go Rangers!!).  I'm going to take Grayson to his physical therapy appointment and not worry about if it doesn't work and he walks on his tiptoes forever.  I'm going to get ready for co op tomorrow, love on the three little friends who are always with me, fold more clean laundry, and probably sing to the dog.  I'm going to be thankful for what God has given me, not worry about what He hasn't, and enjoy today.  

Besides, I can't focus on worries and eat up this mix-matched, braided-bun delicious little girl:

Tomorrow can worry about itself.

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow . . ."

Comments

[Lori]

Thank you for this post. I, too, am learning to conquer the beast. I appreciate your honesty.

So thankful for His faithfulness!

Lori in PA

[LaQuetha]

Thanks for posting. I happen to sit down last night and your blog came to mind. This was a timely post for me because I worry a lot. Some important things and other things not so important. I have to choose a lot of time to give my worry to God and choose trust. Thanks for sharing.

[Erin]

I totally agree, sweet friend!! And, you know I'm a worrier!! :-)

I rarely check google reader, but I did today!! I was soooo happy to see I had several new posts of yours to read!! Yay! I love to read about your fun life!! :-) I love you! And, I'm sorry I distracted you, and your kiddos got all wet!! But, I'm so glad we got to talk for a bit! Love to you!!

[Jackie]

Well said mama. Enjoy those babies while you can.

I love that you take the time to go for a walk with them. Or do a craft or anything to do with quality time. They will remember that and do the same for their kids.

You are a wonderful mom. Keep up the good work. You are right. We are to cast our cares on the Lord. He is big enough to handel it all.

Jackie

[Adventures In Babywearing]

Ok, so. I have been fighting off anxiety from my worrying all week and for some reason your blog came to my mind last night (it's been a long long while I know!) and then this morning I saw a link to you. Thank you so much for this post- it's good to know I'm not alone in worrying even when I know I shouldn't and also the reminder that I should just give it over already. Thank you and I hope you are so well.

Love,
Steph

[Polly]

I read a devotional a few years ago in Streams in the Desert about putting your worries in a mailbox (mentally) & leaving them there for God to pick up. Such a good idea! I too worry, but far less than I used to worry....I think I've just realized the things I worry about may or may not happen but the biggest things in my life (mother's death, for instance) were things I could NEVER see coming. Realizing how much unforeseen, wat-beyond-my-control stuff is out there sort of helped 'cure' this oldest child's worrying!!!

[Bev]

Oh my, does she look absolutely precious or what?! I LOVE, LOVE those braided buns. Reminds me of a little girl who wore them on the sides of her head. I am sorry you got the worrying gene, and will start praying that God will help you conquer it. I think most people worry, about something. Our list is a lake without water, a failing seawall ($4,000 a panel), a stockmarket that isn't very happy lately, aging parents, family with serious issues, knees that aren't going to hold up as long as I'd like, whether lungs have repaired themselves, and none of those include the things I worry over from our kids who aren't kids anymore. So you can see it never completely ends - the list of what to worry over. Wish I'd been there to share the crunchy leaves and licking the brownie batter, play badmitton, and sip chai tea. I'd even be willing to fold laundry. xoxo

[Keri Brown]

First of all, I've neglected to say how glad I am that you're back to blogging -- even if sporadically. I love reading your thoughts, so I'll take what I can get. :-)

And what an important reminder, not to borrow trouble from tomorrow. Timely for me, too, as we're leaving on a little weekend family get-away tomorrow, and my Trip Anxiety is just about in high gear.... Futility in worrying..."Feed on His faithfulness...." Thank you for reminding me!

[Toni]

I love that you find wonderful ways to feed your own spirit, instead of the famished beast called worry. Kudos!

We have a toe walker here too, almost 10 (mild CP). Thought I'd share this, in case it hasn't come up in therapy. Have you tried shoulder weight to remind him? One of those neck pillows refilled with something heavier, like dry beans. It's sensory input that you would apply when you see him toe walking, just for 5-10 minutes or so, encouraging him that he'll feel the weight "pressing on your shoulders to remind you to press your feet down to the floor." It was a great sensory reminder for our son.
Blessings,
Toni

[Becky]

Love that you said worry is 'an ugly friend who never satisfies.' AMEN! Thanks for sharing! : )

[renee]

Thank you. I needed to read this today, yesterday, last month, last year. But I needed it just as much today. Glad you're back to writing - for now, at least. :)

[Lori Young]

Well said Sarah! I think it's the season for the Holy Spirit to work with chronic worries, because He's had me thinking the same sorts of "why worry" thoughts, let go, and play with my three sweet kiddos. I'll stop wearing my shoulders as earrings, if you will! ;)

Love from Seattle!

[wendy]

Thanks for writing this post. Maybe it was meant for me too.

[Karen]

Oh Sarah...........your life reads like a book! I love reading about your adventures. I am a worrier also ~ I can't help it. I eventually give it over to God, but not before I have wasted precious time fretting. I also will have another round with the orthodontist. After two kids (one of which had three separate rounds), I can't wait to do it again........not! Also, you might want to start a separate savings acct for car insurance. Mine tripled and that's with a girl. (Oh sorry, not that I want you to worry about another thing ;o) My life seems quite boring in comparison, but I wouldn't change it for anything. I love Addie's hair. My daughter is 3 1/2 and won't even let me do a ponytail...sigh
PS ~ I do not miss having a propane tank. That thing did make me worry...we did have a leak once and the tank was located near our tv room, so you know what my mind was thinking! Have a blessed day!