Messy!

Lately I've felt like my shoulders are up in my ears.  I feel cramped, overwhelmed, and like the Legos are closing in on me!  Everywhere I turn, there is a mess.  Of epic proportions, usually.  There are papers, books, shoes, socks--I am not kidding that I find 10-20 socks in weird places every single day!--and Legos everywhere, constantly piling up, making me crazy!  

I have always been very, very neat.  I had a perfectly-picked up bedroom growing up, and clutter makes me cross-eyed.  However, I am married to a man who does not have the same bent (He's the baby; I'm the first-born, can you tell?), and his offspring have all taken after him, not me.  That means there are four people who thwart my every attempt at order, neatness, and margins!  It's not that they mean to; they just simply don't see the messes.  On the one hand that's good--Chris has never, ever mentioned that things could use a little picking up.  On the other hand, that means I spend a vast amount of my waking hours walking from room to room, picking up and mumbling under my breath about how if somebody would notice things left on the stairs--would close the toilet seats--would not drop books and socks and Legos everywhere . . .  I feel like a supreme grump and complainer a lot.

I've tried not caring and just going with the flow.  That works really well for about a day, but then when five people don't pick up, the house looks like a bomb has exploded, and I just have more work later on.  It doesn't help that four of us are here nearly 24 hours of every day, and that homeschooling brings with it about a million books, markers, papers, and math manipulatives.  (Those one-inch colored tiles multiply like Gremlins.  I find them everywhere!)

My other response is to tackle the chaos head-on:  I buy bins, organizers, binders, calendars, laundry systems.  I label things, put little reminders on the inside of the toilet lid (Mod Podged, so tinkles can be wiped off!), and continually dump large loads of stuff at Goodwill.

Nothing is helping.  I'm going crazy.  At least once a week I just put my head down on our school desk, sigh dramatically, and moan.  The schedules, activities, books, socks, and Legos are getting to me!  I can't do the obvious:  cart off the Legos to Goodwill, make everybody go sockless, quit our activities, or send the kids to school.  

So, does anybody have any sage words of advice?  Especially on this one:  what to do with all the Legos!  (We have bins and keep them in an understairs closet across from the boys' room, but they seem to spread like a virus.)  Now, if you have two little girls who like to sit and color, your husband was in the Army and still lines up his shoes by color and type, or you have live-in help, I'm not sure you can help me.  But if you are outnumbered by boys, have a creative (read: not super neat) husband, and homeschool, please let me in on any little secrets you've come by.

And in the meantime, I'm off to fight the paper mess in the schoolroom . . .

Comments

[Paula Brown-Hamilton]

I so understand the Lego issue, I have four boys ones still to little for Lego but three are full force. For Christmas I copied the Lego storage from the blog IheartOrganizing it's perfect the boys love it and no more Lego everywhere. Hope that helps! Love your blog.

[renee]

I love your mom's idea. I'm not even sure where to start with my thoughts on this. Now that we are renting a smaller house, I feel like I'm constantly living amongst the toys and there comes a day when I. am. done. I'm trying to be a little more laid back though -trying - I didn't say I was succeeding. We have a huge box of legos that were handed down to the boys that are kept in the school room closet - except for their "special" ones they have bought and keep in their own drawers for all of their "stuff." They are no longer allowed to bring them downstairs because of the baby, but they can bring their creations down as long as all of the pieces make it back up. I also have no trouble throwing away random pieces that I find lying around, especially after they have just cleaned up that room. I don't know what to tell you about the sock issue - we've never really encountered that one. The boys are all responsible for their own laundry (for the most part), and I think that has helped, over time, to teach them to keep up with their clothes. A few other tidbits...If we have to leave the house, the boys have to do a quick pick up of most of the toys, especially downstairs. I try real hard to get them (maybe 1 child in particular) to clean up one group of toys before moving on to the next thing or going outside. Their bedroom is cleaned up before dinner. As far as all of those school manipulatives - they stay behind my desk and are not allowed to leave the school room. I know all of that sounded like a bunch of hodge podge, but that's how my brain works these days. :)

[Polly]

Sarah--I love this post because I think we are long lost twins. I too am a lover of neatness, an anti-clutter queen. I too married a man who just doesn't notice messes!! I too feel grateful for this in one way (no complaints from him, ever!) but overwhelmed because I'm always picking up after sweet husband, darling son (he's 4) and delicious baby daughter (she can't even crawl yet but she can hit a toy box like a hurricane!!!) I too try to 'roll with it' or 'relax' and then wind up more aggravated than before!! I too crave systems, order, schedules, organization....yet allow my husband and kids the margin of messy creativity I kNOW they need. I too am stumped!!!! Add to that the layout of our house (whether you walk in from the front or back door, you see the living room, dining area and kitchen in their entirety....the guest bath is right next to the children's rooms and our bedroom is right off the living room.....so I constantly feel like every room has to be tidy and it drives me crazy because they never are--not all at once!!!!)......even though we are the fifth generation on our farm I sometimes admit to wanting to just move!!;)

So I will be keeping a close eye on these comments....I need all the tips I can get!!

[Bev]

Knowing your home, and knowing where the official lego home is (the closet under the stairs), and knowing Grayson tends to play with them spilling out into the hall, I wonder if you could just store the bins there but pick a different place for him to play them. Do you remember when we gave each of you a desk, and yours was an old door on legs? Could you possibly set up a table in the family room that is just for Grayson's legos, and they have to be played with there, but can stay out as long as he wants? You could even put up a table with a skirt on it (to match your decor) and the bins of legos could be stored underneath the table, keeping it all together and easily cleaned up if you are entertaining. I found it really helped to give each of you a place where you could be messy all the time, but it had confines I could live with. And as far from the front door as possible would be my choice so visitors who see the mess have been invited in and love you enough to understand that kids are messy and creative and only home for a short number of years.

[Theresa]

I was the "mean" mom and now I'm the "mean" grandmother. My hubby is the buyer of toys, therefore, he is responsible for making sure the grandkids put all pieces back where they belong when they are finished playing with them. Bionicle parts, Legos, doll house furniture, etc, left out where I might step on it, or the dog might chew on it, are put away for two weeks.

[Linda]

I am speaking from an empty nest - you know, one of those places where it's only the two of us and as long as one of us is neat the mess is kept under control? :-)
When the little birds were here though, I finally decided to just let the mess go until right before Daddy came home from work. Then, ideally, everyone pitched in and picked up his or her mess. Honestly, it was usually me - but at least I wasn't running around all day long picking up the clutter in their wake. It seemed to help a little.

[Becky]

Mine are past the Lego stage but I howled with laughter recently listening to Tim Hawkins describing them as a weapon. : ) Ours could keep out the creations but all the loose ones had to get put away before daddy got home. Not that it always happened but that was the goal. : )

[Toni]

LOL! Yes, we have multiplying Legos (and K-nex, Snap Blox, Polly Pockets, puzzle pieces, marbles, Hot Wheels cars and track pieces, and more). I think our parenting styles are probably more different. I see you to be more of a "go with the flow" mom, while I see myself as more of a "brass tacs" mom, so I'm not sure I can offer suggestions that would work for you. That said, I have resorted to storing these items on closet shelves. My children ask to play with them and I get them down, with the reminder that they must pack and bring them to me when they're done or that toy is on a penalty, unavailable for [x] amount of time. This works very well for us. In fact, my 4 year old just cleaned up and brought the Snap-Blox back to me after building airplanes with them for the past half hour.

[Beth]

My crew like to empty the entire lego bin on the floor, to find the best bits for their projects. My friend had the genius idea of emptying it out on an old blanket. When they are done, the blanket can be picked up by the four corners and dumped back in the bin.

What if...you had a little container in each room where lego bits go? So you don't have to constantly walk from room to room to put them back, so they are stored in an attractive way (it could be something very pretty that is already in the room).

We also do "clean for 15 minutes" things at our house. I'm the boss, and I dole out the next thing to be done because they can't exactly see it when they are young. 15 minutes of solid clean up by three or four pairs of hands led by an organized mommy can result in a tidy space by the end, and they have earned their playtime.

Now, to be honest, I am the messy one. The one who does not really like being the boss. Most of my bright ideas get sidelined by lack of drive on my part. And I still feel like putting my head on the table with a sigh many evenings. My sympathies to you.

[Chris in Canada]

Oh Sara - I hear you!

We homeschool our 5 kids and most all of us around here are not tidy by nature, So we're working on the nurture. The only tip I have is a small one, but it's been a good one for us.

When things start to get out of hand, we have a week or two of 'boot camp' (maybe some families would require only a day of it). When I find anything that belongs to someone else (no matter how small), I call the 'offender' and have them put it away, plus 1 more chore. It results initially in them being pulled away from playtime an awful lot, but it lessens quickly.

(loved your post about the kids getting older....how I relate! I'd take all mine back as babies all over again in a heartbeat - mess and all!)

Chris in Canada

[Tina]

I'm frustrated with the number of socks I keep finding. I'm thinking of starting to fine a child per sock. Not sure they could afford it if I did it for Legos thought! (The worst is they end up in the laundry basket and I keep finding Legos in the dryer.) Maybe each child needs to have an area of the house he or she is in charge of, and make that a daily chore? And they can start to learn what is clean and not clean as you lovingly correct them (or make them keep redoing it until it passes muster). :)

[C]

Hi Sara-
I hear your Lego woes! Our girl and four guys have been loving them for about fifteen years and the age span of my offspring pretty much ensures that I will be living with those little crunchers for up to another decade! Each time I find a block or tiny accessory in some strange location, I remember that I never want to have a day when there isn't someone around here waiting on the latest Lego magazine to arrive in the mailbox.

A couple of possible tips that help us contain the chaos: We have a Lego room, which is really a hexagonal space in the third floor of our turret,about 10 feet across. The space is restricted to Legos and at times the Legos are restricted to it. Perhaps this effect could be replicated with some low walls in a larger room. Sort of a Lego corral.

Also, I have found that the shelving units sold at Target which have cubby spaces for canvas totes make excellent display spaces for Lego scenes. My guys make dioramas in them and it is pretty well accepted that creations placed in the cubbies are sacred and are not to be touched until the engineer who created them moves them.

We also use small clear stackable plastic drawer units to stow the bits and bobs.

Happy Sunday Blessings!